<h1>Hilarious Comments from an Uber Spokesperson!</h1>

This is Uber's idea of effective public relations?

"Susie Heath, a spokesperson for Uber Canada, tells us they’ve worked with law enforcement agencies to help build a series of tips for consumers. (I.E. Uber customers.)

Tips include sitting in the back seat so you can easily exit the car in case of emergency, following your intuition, planning ahead by letting family & friends know where you are, giving Uber feedback and being respectful in your driver’s car."

Try to imagine any other corporation feeling the need to "work with law enforcement agencies" in order to protect the public from their own employees! It might take the form of a large poster installed at every Walmart entrance.

Without Uber, I couldn't make this stuff up.

I mean, I can understand why some pharmaceutical companies might be required to inform the public that the use of their product might result in anal leakage, but, have standards dropped so low that companies now have to warn the public about the possibility of being raped by their employees?

Attention Walmart Shoppers. Beware of Walmart employees.

Tips include:

• keep a safe distance between yourself and Walmart staff.
• know where all of the exits are in case of an emergency. You never know when a Walmart employee might try to pull an Uber.
• follow your intuition, whatever that is supposed to mean.
• plan ahead by letting family and friends know you intend to go shopping at Walmart.
• give Walmart feedback if you find yourself turning down the wrong aisle, only to be confronted by some sex-crazed Walmart employee offering you free merchandise in exchange for a blowjob. Remember, Walmart hires anyone who walks in the door as long as they have a driver's license and a car.
• be respectful when visiting your friendly Walmart location. For example, don't vomit on the merchandise, in the aisles, or on fellow shoppers.

Walmart has been working with law enforcement to help build a series of tips for Walmart shoppers. This should make you feel very secure when visiting Walmart.

Walmart is all about sharing.

Please come again!

Is it just me? OR is it a brand new interpretation of the old warning, "Caveat emptor?"

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See:

Uber Driver Charged in Sexual Assault of Passenger.

Oh. And let's not forget the fact that the corporation that is now working with law enforcement to warn the public about using its own service was the same company that had the balls to rip its customers off with a "safe ride fee" that has magically morphed into a "booking fee," much like the fraud of Global Warming has morphed into "Climate Change."

"You don't believe in climate change? Let me guess, you probably don't believe in gravity either."

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See also: