Open Prison Canada

 
Joe-Anne Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie Guest Rant
 
December 21, 2010
 
Professor Block is currently recovering from the serious hangover he thinks he is going to have on New Year’s Day.
 
Despite UB’s circumstances, he nevertheless felt obliged to provide his devoted readers (reader? Spell checker?) with some content, something to mull over, or something to reject, out-of-hand, as being too preposterous to consider.
 
Well, he knows no one reads his regular rants because they are just too boringly conventional…. not to mention his incessant Bible Thumping. So this morning UB has invited one of his old guest authors to stand in for him.
 
For readers of the, now defunct magazine of news, opinion, comics and humour, Crazy Mag, our guest author, Joe-Anne Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie needs no introduction.
 
For other(s?) perhaps a little background is called for.
 
Joe-Anne Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie is the latest in the line of hyphenated surname users.
 
Her Father’s name was Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubber. Her mother’s name, thankfully, was only Enkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie .
 
When they got married, under water, in the nude, by some radical Muslim cleric with Jewish sympathies they decided to take advantage of the similarities in their surnames to shorten things up a bit. So, instead of adopting the new surname of Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubber-Enkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie they merged the identical parts and came up with the truncated, Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie.
 
(Which begs the question. Who has the longest name in the world?)
 
Oh well, who really cares. The only thing Joe-Anne Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie is worried about right now is the apparent crush her daughter has for Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Senior.
 
Now that you are more familiar with Joe-Anne Schnickenkeimskivichenzochung-SchickelGrubbeAnchovie’s background we give you her sports report.

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“The one team scored more points than the other team. Therefore, the first team won.”

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Wow! That was so exciting!
 
Thank you so much for your report, Joe-Anne.. uhm…. Whatever….
 
Tune in next week to find out whether the other team won. (Rah!)